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皇冠新2网址_皇冠比分_衡阳在线
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皇冠新2网址_皇冠比分_衡阳在线

我象往常一样,在这样的时候,听一首草原的歌,看一本书,让音乐的节奏伴随着文字灵魂在我的眼里跳跃,让音乐的旋律伴随着文字的委婉,从我的心底滑过,柔柔地去触动生活的感悟。一本尘封已久的书,我小心翼翼的拿起,弹去浮尘,端正的放在面前,有一种久违的激动,从心底静静地流淌。书页仍然洁白,只是少了些许油墨的芳香。在书的封页下面,我再一次看见了那张属于我的时隔35年的老照片。那一刻,我的思绪不再涌动,时光开始倒流,纷繁杂乱,斑驳琉璃,又是那般的支离破碎。渐渐的,我模糊已久的记忆慢慢的清晰,正象雨后的山麓,经受了乳油般的云雾梳洗后的清晰,浮游在天际。老照片里一直藏着一个遗憾,或许已经成了我不愿意触及的情感痛点。每一次端看,每一次回忆,内心柔柔的深处,都会想起一个人来,而这个人却不在照片里面。79年的秋季,也是象今天这样的一个斜雨飘飞的日子,名落孙山的我怀揣着一份遥远的梦想,满脸茫然又心存渴望的再一度走进原本不属于了我的课堂。初来乍到,除了陌生没有好奇。小我两岁的小弟是这里的老生,在我入学手续都办完后的空档里,向我提议,带我去看我们班的“老倆”去。穿过长长的走廊,在一棵高大的柳树旁,我见到了我要见到的人——“老倆”,一个原本应该非常美丽的女生,可此时,突然间,我感觉到了莫名的心疼,心底涌动着无端的震惊。我没有一丝的轻视,从她的那份快乐的坦然和从容里面,我找到了被她征服的东西。高考过后,我一度沉寂,绝望彷徨,行尸走肉,总感觉是自己怀才不遇,老天挑剔。用这样的方式给原本就无用的自己找到一个诠释的理由,一个走向深渊的阶梯。在以后的学习生活里,经常会和“老倆”不期相遇,无论我多忙,我都会对她抱以尊重的意会,尽管,我很少去看她的那张原本应该娇美的脸庞。她一直是我努力学习,战胜自己的影子,那个乐观裕达,对不幸的坦然面对的影子。我慢慢的改变自己,把自己变得坚强,敢于面对。很多时候,面对困难,进退维谷,我都会想起她来,然后走完这段求学的路。在那一年饱受寒冷饥饿的路上,我感觉到了春的涌动,花的灿烂。转眼就到了毕业的季节,我清楚的记得,也清晰的看见了她一个人悄悄地站在廊柱后面,远远的看着我们排成一行又一行,挤了又挤的场面。那一刻,我又一次感受到了命运的残酷,我似乎到现在也没有弄明白,我们的那个偌大的群体,当时就怎么容不下她这么一个弱小的个体。我知道她那个时候应该有的空前的痛苦,对她人生的触动是怎样的残酷。很多年以后,我才知道,她通过自己的努力,给自己找到了最美的归属,她通过自己的努力,送走了那张原本就不应该属于她的脸,让美丽重新永驻。一时间,老照片里人头晃动,我感觉到了那一丝残缺的遗憾的气息正在悄然酝酿,悄然压抑。很多年过去,如果我和我的这些老同学再次谈起,一定会像这个漆黑的夜里,我听到的这忧伤情歌里的凄风苦雨和默默期许。

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